Song: Go Like Vladimir

[patoadam]

Go Like Vladimir
Lyrics by patoadam, October 2009. Placed in the public domain.
TTTO Johnny B. Goode

"I found it and I named it, being versed
in taxonomic Latin, thus became
godfather to an insect, and its first
describer -- and I want no other fame...

Dark pictures, thrones, the stones that pilgrims kiss,
poems that take a thousand years to die,
but ape the immortality of this
red label on a little butterfly."
-- Vladimir Nabokov, "A Discovery" (1943)

   A
At Harvard and Cornell, there was great intrigue,
   A
As students tried to get into the Ivy League.
     D
A lucky few took classes from this clever prof,
  A
A Russian guy named Vladimir Nabokov.
    E
You know he wrote "Lolita" but that wasn't enough.
   A
He did a lot of other really gnarly stuff.

Chorus:
            A
	Go, go! Go like Vladimir, go! 
                          D
	Go like Vladimir, go!
                          A
	Go like Vladimir, go!
                          E
	Go like Vladimir, go!
                        A
	You're gonna be good!

Now, Vlad, he was a bitchin' lepidopterist.
He found a little butterfly the world had missed.
He caught one and he named it, being quite well versed
In taxonomic Latin. Yes, he was the first
To show the world the Karner Blue butterfly,
Another reason why his name will never die.

<Chorus>

And Vlad composed chess problems from the heart.
They weren't merely puzzles, they were works of art.
He never ever learned to drive a car so well,
But he could do a mate in two like a-ringin' a bell.
The problems he composed were published near and far.
Oh my, that Russian guy was a checkmate star.

<Chorus>

If you wanna clone a turkey, crown the Queen of Spain,
And etch the Mona Lisa on your windowpane;
If you wanna cure the flu and build a wax museum,
The thing you gotta tell yourself is "Carpe diem!"
Before you shed your mortal coil and shuffle off,
Go out and live like Vladimir Nabokov!

<Chorus>

The solution of the chess problem is in a comment.

Comments

chess problem

[patoadam]

The solution is Bc2. A try that almost works is b8=N.

after b8 (promoting to a Knight)

If Black plays c5, then Nxd7 is mate.
If Black plays d6, then Nd7 is mate.
If Black plays dxe6, then Nf7 is mate.
If Black plays d5, then Qc7 is mate.
If Black moves the Knight on d2, then Qd4 is mate.
If Black plays Kd6, then Qc5 is mate.
If Black plays c2, there is no immediate mate.

after Bc2

If Black plays c5, then Rf5 is mate.
If Black plays d6, then Rf5 is mate.
If Black plays dxe6, then Qc5 is mate.
If Black plays d5, then Qc7 is mate.
If Black moves the Knight on d2, then Qd4 is mate.
If Black plays Kd5 or Kd6, then Qc5 is mate.

Note the subtlety of Bc2: it neither gives check nor threatens mate. If Black could pass, he would not be mated on the next move.

About this problem Nabokov wrote:

I remember one particular problem I had been trying to compose for months. There came a night when I managed at last to express that particular theme. It was meant for the delectation of the expert solver. The unsophisticated might miss the point of the problem entirely, and discover its fairly simple, “thetic” solution without having passed through the pleasurable torments prepared for the sophisticated one. The latter would start by falling for an illusory pattern of play based on a fashionable avant-garde theme (exposing White’s King to checks), which the composed had taken the greatest pains to “plant” (with only one obscure little move by an inconspicuous pawn to upset it). Having passed through this “antithetic” inferno the by now ultra-sophisticated solver would reach the simple key move (bishop to c2) as somebody on a wild goose chase might go from Albany to New York by way of Vancouver, Eurasia and the Azores. The pleasant experience of the roundabout route (strange landscapes, gongs, tigers, exotic customs, the thrice-repeated circuit of a newly married couple around the sacred fire of an earthen brazier) would amply reward him for the misery of the deceit, and after that, his arrival at the simple key move would provide him with a synthesis of poignant artistic delight.